The socialite says her days of reality TV and paid nightclub appearances are over now that she's off to one of the world's "hottest" law schools.
But the party has only just begun for Paris... "Harvard parties are, like, the craziest parties," says the undercover genius, who scored unprecedented results on her entrance exam.
Paris plans to live on campus at the Boston university and has already begun remodelling her dorm room ahead of her September enrolment.
"Paris's people have requested that an entire floor of the building be set aside for her," says Harvard's campus director.
"The new super sized room will be fitted out with custom made wallpaper embossed with algebraic equations and bubblegum-scented zebra print rugs. Paris will have her own private entrance via a hot pink elevator which will be guarded 24-7 by campus security."
An adjoining miniature dorm room is also being built for her dogs.
Paris plans to major in international law with a long-term plan to "fix up that whole thing with the war" but not before she achieves her first goal making the Harvard cheerleading squad.
Asked to give a sample of her cheerleading skills, the peppy blonde chanted, "Give me an S, give me a U, give me a C, give me a K, give me an E, give me an R, give me an S!"
In case you hadn't already guessed it... APRIL FOOLS!
If you follow celebrity gossip, you should probably know by now not to believe everything you read in the headlines.
Check out our gallery of some of the world's craziest ever headlines. Oprah-worshipping aliens and escaped Elvis clones... see if you can pick which ones are real!